"Everyone thinks change is based on what you're going to get, but change has a lot to do with what you are willing to get rid of - like a hot air balloon that goes up when you throw the sand out of it. A lot of people don't want to throw the sand out; they want to keep the sand and still go up."
– Joe McQ from his book The Steps We Took

In working with adult survivors for nine years, I have discovered that the soul is the "seat" of our emotions. What we feel, hope, want and dream about all stem from a searching soul. Our souls fuel our desires to belong, fit in and find close relationships. If there is abuse or a squelching of the soul through a negative relationship, we learn to harden our hearts. Sometimes this cannot be helped – it could be the death of someone close such as a parent or sibling. Other times, it’s intentional abuse. No matter what the cause, this hardening is a departure from the core design of our souls – the part of a woman that wants to dance and love and nurture others.

All creativity in life and love stems from these heart and soul connections.  By far, the biggest area I see that has hardened hearts is sex – specifically, the misuse or abuse of sex. When a woman or teen engages in sexual activity outside of God's original plan for marriage partners only, she fuses her heart and soul to another person. Then when the relationship does not work out, the woman's or young lady's heart is torn. As they continue in this pattern of sexual immorality, their hearts and souls are torn to pieces over and over again. Quickly, we learn to harden our hearts so we do not hurt so much.

In Ezekiel, the scriptures say, "The Lord will take our hearts of stone and give us a heart of flesh in which the Spirit may dwell." Victoria's Friends is designed to help women and teens get back to the core design of their hearts and souls. It takes someone who has walked this out to point the way, and Victoria is 19 years into her journey. Victoria and her team have created conferences, groups and events to help you get back to your original design and live a whole life with a heart that is fully alive!

As the quote by Daniel Russell states: "Do not let the tuning fork of meanness in the hands of another set the music for your life." We must continue dancing! Maybe you never learned to dance, then it is time!

Let's get started. The hot air balloon is ready to soar – how about you?